How I recommended a friend to a headhunter.

Losing a job is usually a rather traumatic experience that causes a significant change in one's life. Everyone reacts in their own way, though everyone goes through 4 main stages with varying intensity: denial, shock/resistance (disbelief, feeling of injustice, lack of acceptance), engagement (finding one's bearings in the situation, seeking information, verifying ideas), and searching (seeing new opportunities, accepting change as a fact, looking for a way out of the situation, starting actions).

When to recommend?

It may happen that someone we care about loses their job. The common and purely human reflex is the desire to help. However, it's important to remember that this person is going through the aforementioned stages of change and may not be willing and ready to accept our help at every stage (denial, shock/resistance).

Help when you've established from your friend's behavior that the worst is behind them (i.e., they've moved from perceiving change as a problem ("denial/shock and resistance") to seeing new possibilities and seeking solutions ("searching/engagement"). Otherwise, your help may not be noticed, which can be frustrating and upsetting for you. Remember that not everyone is ready to look for a new job from the day they lost their previous one.

How to recommend effectively?

Ask what your friend wants to do and where (to which companies, types of organizations, businesses, positions) they want to be recommended. Do not take the initiative until you've established this.

Do not send a mass email with their CV to headhunters you don't know - the effect will be quite the opposite. If someone is looking for a job, "that someone" should send their own application documents.

It's different if you have contacts for a headhunter with whom you've worked. Contact them by email or phone and ask if you can pass their contact to a friend who is looking for a job (assuming that the headhunter conducts recruitment processes for positions that are of interest to our friend).

Just that much, and no more. Do not replace your friend in sending application documents. The contact must come from the person seeking a job, not the other way around.

Recommending takes a bit of time, but if you want to help effectively, do it in the way mentioned above. Otherwise, you unfortunately deter the Head Hunter from the person you recommended.

Do not confuse terms – a headhunter does not help in job searching but works for their clients. The process of "career coaching" and supporting career change is conducted by a career coach or vocational advisor – these are paid services.

If you are a colleague or boss of the person being laid off and value their experience, you can help them more effectively. You can prepare a reference letter highlighting the merits and values of your colleague and publish it on their LinkedIn profile. You can also confirm that you will be available if future potential employers require telephone confirmation of these references. When contacting a headhunter you know, highlight the person's merits in the conversation.

When not to recommend?

Before recommending a friend, ask if this is the form of help they expect from you. Losing a job is a significant emotional experience. Some need time to think about what they really want – what kind of job or employment form they will be looking for. Some are not looking for company at this time, let alone help. Respect this and above all, ask if the person wants you to take any actions. Otherwise, the outcome may be different from what you intended. I know cases where a well-intentioned person sends the CV of an acquaintance, and it happens that this person fits into a project we were conducting. During the conversation, it turned out that the potential candidate did not show a desire or motivation to take up the job, constantly returning to the recent dismissal (clearly not being ready for a change). This was definitely not the time for participating in recruitment interviews. If a candidate is not mentally ready to look for a job, they will not perform well during the interview.

There are people who, once recommended, "suddenly catch the wind in their sails" and act immediately, which translates into finding a new job faster (before being recommended, they are simply at the stage of accepting change). It's important to respect that some need more time to cope with the loss and not to force recommendations. A headhunter who called a person from a recommendation, who seemed unmotivated to take a job, will probably not call again soon (which may only reinforce the freshly laid-off person in the erroneous belief that "they let me go and nobody wants me anymore – friends recommended my CV, but nobody wants to hire me").